In my former life I was a rapper...

I apologize for not bloggin' in a few weeks. I have no excuse except I am one lazy chick after working with snotty-nosed rug rats all day. I vow to become a more dedicated blogger.

After I stuffed my face with 2 turkey tacos (with all the fixin's in a hard shell), I decided to look-up songs to download on my iPod. As I normally do, I Google "top 100 pop/rap songs." Side note: I feel freakishly weird about jammin' out to curse word, drug influenced songs as I drive to go see kids for therapy. Anyway, tonight I stumbled across a song on the Billboard.com's Hot 100. The song is titled "Toot It And Boot It." It's current chart position is #81... if you play it you'll see why. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlMhiEL9Mc
This leads me to my "that's what she said" thought of the day....
(I'm using Seth Myers' "Really" skit from SNL Weekend Update as my template---here goes)

This just in...
Rappers are now referring to sex with a female as "tootin' it." I mean really? Are the words sex, f*@&, smackin' dat, whompin' dat, tappin' dat, gettin' some, grindin', bustin' n*tz all ova ya face kid...not good enough to say anymore? Really? I mean how many more different ways can you discuss sex? And if you think inserting a "z" in the middle of each word helps, (ex. tizappin dizat izass) think again. I mean really. Not only is it bad enough that 90% of your songs are about sex (leaving the other 10% to drugs, being in prison, or other referenced gang shootings), you now have to go and "think" of another term for sex. Really? How degrading will you get before you aren't getting any ass at all? I mean really. Now this song "Toot it and boot it" is about getting some ass then kickin' the poor ho out of your house faster than 2 shakes of a lambs tail. I mean really? "Toot it and boot it"? When I first saw this title I thought it was a children's song about Thomas the train having a good day on the tracks and kicking it with his train friends. Boy was I wrong. I mean really. Take this lyric for example..

"I met her in the club
then I said wassup
I took her to the crib
and you know I f*ed
yea toot it and boot it
toot it and boot it
toot it and boot it
thats why I toot and boot it" (p.s. no where in this lyric proves "why" he can toot it and boot it)

Really? Really? Next thing you know, this amateur rapper (btw he goes by YG) will probably be the most saught after musical guest on late night shows. Really? I mean why even waste your time writing down these lyrics? Sounds like YG was sitting on the crapper one day, thought of 2 rhyming words, dropped a beat, put these words together and BAM! he's got a song on the Billboard.com Hot 100. Really? So all of you wanna be rappers out there, take a second before you start ramblin' nonsense words and ask yourself "will these lyrics even make sense?" If the answer is no, then I say go for it, everyone else has.